Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
