I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Your dad touched me again.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
