Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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