I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
