I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
