Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
