I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize