Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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