saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
