Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
