Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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