Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
