Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
