Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You just made me feel so damn special
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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