I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My feet surprised me
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
