So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
