I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
