He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
