i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
