He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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