so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
