ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
