My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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