How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Randomize
