Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
