Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry nintendo414 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.

Fav 3 1007 1529
share tweet
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.

Fav 6 1061 1351
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.

Fav 3 1994 767
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."

Fav 2 745 1091
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.

Fav 1 971 548
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.

Fav 2 945 437
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(416): View more from Toronto

Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress

(416): View more from Toronto

Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing

Fav 2 514 742
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(123): View more from

I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live

Fav 0 30 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts

(815): View more from Illinois

Maybe I will go to the company picnic

Fav 0 104 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT