Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
