i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I look better un-naked...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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