ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
