Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
