hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
