mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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