It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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