It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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