So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
