Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
