Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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