Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
