I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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