Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
