I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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