I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
