I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
