Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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