You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
