found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize