On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize