Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
