all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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