drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
True strength comes from lack of pants
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
