Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We had to coat check the pizza.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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