As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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