Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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