when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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