There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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