VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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