His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
