I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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