you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize