i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
