If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
