Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
