Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize