FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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