there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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