I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
